


you're proof that i'm breathing

by BooyahFordhamYacht



Series: and did you love me like the way you wrote(shyan oneshots) [5]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Cats, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Olivia & Fitz the cats, Paddington, Thunderstorms, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i love them, shane loves ryan, softies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 10:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooyahFordhamYacht/pseuds/BooyahFordhamYacht
Summary: sometimes, all ryan needs is shane. when there's a thunderstorm, ryan needs him more than ever.





	you're proof that i'm breathing

Ryan loves Shane. Really, really loves Shane. He really fucking hates him sometimes, though. Like Shane’s ability to sleep through anything? That can get Ryan hating him real quick. Three years together, ages as friends, and Shane can still fall asleep anywhere, even with Ryan pestering him with anxious questions in a haunted house, or tossing and turning beside him in their apartment. Shane’s  _ especially  _ good at sleeping through thunderstorms, which Ryan most definitely hates. Thunderstorms are one of Ryan’s worst fears, even more than ghosts, more than demons. 

 

And so Shane snores softly beside Ryan, who is wide awake as lightning sets the room on fire in flashes and the thunder shakes their bed. A soft thump causes Ryan to jump, but he relaxes when he notices Fitz. Fitz meows gently and pads up the bed to rub his face against Ryan’s, fluffy orange fur tickling Ryan’s nose. Ryan knows he’s Fitz’s favorite between himself and Shane, and that almost makes up for how much Olivia, their brown tabby, loves Shane. She follows him everywhere through the apartment, and has even swatted at Ryan when he tries to cuddle Shane on the couch. 

 

Another slam of thunder snaps Ryan from calmly stroking Fitz, and the pounding of the rain and the flashing light and the booming noise weighs far too heavily on Ryan, who anxiously starts to shake. 

 

After a moment of suffering the beginnings of vicious anxiety in silence, Ryan reaches over Fitz and Olivia, who sleeps in between him and Shane, to shake his boyfriend’s arm. 

 

Nothing at first, but another shake gets Ryan a soft, incomprehensible but definitely irritated mutter. 

 

“Shane.” Ryan whispers, and Shane grunts again but makes no move to open his eyes. 

 

“ _ Shane _ .” and this time Ryan’s wispy voice carries the fear he feels, and despite Shane’s sleepy state his eyes snap open. 

 

“Baby,” Shane murmurs, and Olivia wakes up at the sound of Shane’s voice, but not even his favorite cat tears Shane’s eyes from Ryan’s. 

 

Shane, in all their time together, knows Ryan so well, perhaps better than he knows himself. He knows when Ryan is okay, when he’s starting to get anxious, and when he needs to get Ryan out of a situation ASAP. He’s, Ryan is sure, saved Ryan’s ass on more than one occasion, because Ryan is far too stubborn to do anything to help himself, even when he is hyperventilating. 

 

“Baby,” Shane says again, and, careful not to disturb the cats between them, reaches a hand over to touch Ryan’s cheek, “what’s wrong?” 

 

A flash of lightning answers for Ryan, and that’s all it takes for Shane to know that Ryan is  _ very  _ anxious and that neither of them are going to be sleeping tonight. Wordlessly, Shane sits up and grabs the laptop from the floor. When Ryan matches his sitting position, Shane plops an already-purring Fitz in the smaller man’s lap, and scoots closer to Ryan. 

 

He pulls up Paddington and queues it up, settling the blankets around them and allowing Olivia to climb up to nap on his shoulders as Ryan leans into him. 

 

A silence falls in the apartment, broken only by the comforting rumble of Fitz purring and the opening credits of Paddington. 

 

As Paddington drowns out the rain and thunder, Ryan relaxes even more into Shane. 

 

“How do you do it?” Ryan murmurs in a lull during the movie.

 

“Do what?” Shane’s fingers gently pull at the hairs at the nape of Ryan’s neck, and Ryan leans slightly into the touch. 

 

“Give up a night of sleep for something so stupid. I mean,  _ why  _ do you do it?” the fingers still in Ryan’s hair and Shane cranes his neck to look at Ryan. 

 

“You’re asking why I help you when you’re anxious?” Shane’s voice is incredulous, but his eyes are soft with curiosity. 

 

“Well, yeah. I know how you get when you’re tired, you literally stop functioning if you get less than eight hours of sleep. And I have these stupid problems and you throw away sometimes an  _ entire _ night of sleep like it’s nothing and-”

 

“Hey,” and though Shane interrupts him his voice is soft. “Yes, I get grumpy when I’m tired. Yes, I prefer getting eight hours of sleep at night. But I do it because of you. Because I love you, and because I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways if I knew you weren’t okay. You come first, now and always. Okay?”

 

Ryan’s voice is breathy. “Okay.” 

 

Shane presses a gentle kiss to Ryan’s forehead and they don’t speak again that night. 

The thunder ends just before the credits of Paddington, but Ryan and Shane are fast asleep sitting up, with Ryan’s head on Shane’s shoulder, cats draped across both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> look, happy shit! I promise sometimes i'm capable of writing something that doesn't rip your soul out! 
> 
> unfortunately it's short as shit, but, alas.


End file.
